2008/02/25
Grudges According to Dictionary.com:

Grudge: n. A deep-seated feeling of resentment

The other night a bunch of people made plans to go out because one of their friends was coming into town. Now, he moved out of town a little before I went to prison (over a year ago), and he has been to town a good number of times since he left. But all that is not the point... anyways... everyone (my 'friends') made big plans to go out to the bars and meet up with him... I didn't think to much of it at the time... but after that night (in which I did stop at the bar they were at, however not for long)...

I thought to myself: I really resent almost all of my friends... there are three people in particular who are the top three on my list... but other than that, I still resent them all...

I was in prison for 5 months. Five long and hard months of pure hell... and I couldn't even get a visit... hell, I couldn't get most of the people to even fill out the forms so they even could visit... I got excuse after excuse for the reasons no one could find the time to come down to visit me. And I really tried to put it past me... I tried to sit around, and look past the tragedy that is my social life... but I can't... I can't forget all the horrible things about prison, and the fact that I had to go without a support structure (aside from my family, and girlfriend)...

I lost a lot more than 5 months while I was in prison... I really did... and most of you knew that I held hard grudges before I left... and it is nice to know that atleast one thing hasn't changed...

I am still dealing with my experience(s) in prison... it is far harder to get over all of the intricate things that have happened inside and out because of my situation than I originally thought... but it's always reassuring to know that I can use this as an outlet... // sk0t @ 12:16 AM :: Comments [8] :: Digg This ::