2006/10/24
Nightmares You know, throughout this whole experience of mine, I have come to a few conclusions...
1) No matter what happens to me, on any level, I will be the only person to comprehend the magnitude of the situation.
2) No one can understand what I am going through, even people who know what is going on, can't know the reality and possibility that this holds for me in a negative light.
3) Everynight I dream that this isn't real, and every morning I wake up to the nightmare of reality.

--I know that to a lot of you people, I am just an asshole who doesn't give a damn about anyone other than himself... and you are right.

No one knows what it feels like to know that in a few months you will be taken away from your family. Freedom stricken, and the control that people take for granted, stripped from me. Some of you will take it lightly, 'oh, you wont go anywhere bad, it will be like Camp Cupcake'. To you I say, 'Then go for me'. Have your world turned upside down, have your life that you know, taken from you. Have your future altered by deeds so miniscule that you didn't consider the ramifications...

No one understands... you may think that I whine and complain about things I don't even know of... again I will tell you to find out for me then.

Do you think I am depressed? Do you think I am sad? Do you think a day goes by that I don't dread my sentencing date, and ponder what's going to happen? Do you think that I have considered the possibility that I just wont be here anymore? Do you think that each and everyday I don't think about the future of who I am now? Or who I will become later? Do you think that this real? And can you save me from this nightmare? // sk0t @ 7:08 AM :: Comments [3] :: Digg This ::